Thursday, June 28, 2007

Some of the family situation

OSS has wanted to live with us for a while now. Life in his mother's home is simply too chaotic for his liking. Even though MSS and YSS have both been taken away from their mother (MSS is in a juvenile detention program and YSS is currently in specialized foster care), life remains unstable over there. OSS wanted to finish high school where he has been, but said that stability was more important. Fortunately, we applied for school choice for him and it was granted. We filed the legal paperwork to have OSS move in and managed to warn him that his mother would be served in the next couple of days. He told his mother he was going to go camping with us and packed as much as he could carry without raising alarms and came over here yesterday. He stretched the truth a bit as we are not camping until next week, but he wanted to get out before she got served with the legal paperwork. Given that her reactions can be quite unpredictable, I am not surprised by his desire to get out of his mother's before she got the legal service.

YSS is another story. He was removed from his mother's home by social services and placed in a specialized foster care situation because he was skipping school an awful lot. The school filed a C.H.I.N.S. (child in need of services). His mother had already signed onto to some social services program that was voluntary because he was out of control. The agency that he was placed with has said that the plan is to transition him into our home. He has not seen his mother and does not want to see her. The agency is suddenly trying to force him to repair his relationship with his mother, however. He feels like he has been abused by her for years and is not ready or willing to participate in any type of counseling. The situation is frustrating. Undoubtedly, he has been more neglected than his brothers in many ways. As the youngest, he has also heard for most of his young life (13 on the 21st of July) how his father is no good, etc., etc... He is old enough now to understand that much of what his mother has said to him in her bitterness is not true, or is only partially true, and he is angry. He has a HUGE problem with females in any sort of authority role. He gives me a really hard time if I ask him to do anything. DH is beginning to see some of the disrespect that he was either unwilling or unable to see before.

We are trying to raise our children to honor and respect us and to be obedient to God. It is very difficult to enforce things with the younger ones when they see the disobedience and disrespect of the older siblings.

I admit that DH and I have battled about this. I try to submit to him, but I have very strong emotions about this situation. I do not want a repeat of what happened with MSS. I do not want ODD, YDD, and YDS to have to go through any of the same things that happened before. I went to confession about this, and I admit that since then, I feel much more peace. I am trying to put the whole situation in God's hands. I am one who often lays my burden down at the foot of the cross only to pick it back up again.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the gift of Confession and absolution. Your forgiveness is so comforting to one who is so imperfect and unworthy. Please help me to be the mother I am called to be for all these children, both those whom I bore and those whose mother I am only because of my marriage to their father. Help me to love them all, Lord. Help me to leave my burdens at your feet. I must remember that Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light.


1 comment:

Mary B said...

Praying with you as always.